Fear of Owning Life 

Why is fear so present in our lives? Why do we live in a society perpetuated by fear? Is it really necessary or even helpful towards our human evolution?

Fear is very present in our society today, not only through the corporate control of jobs, finance and ballooning debt, but also through the educational systems and cultural expectations. Fear has been socially engineered widely throughout our societal systems with the objective of keeping individuals in a contracted state of awareness as opposed to an empowered mindset of abundance. Fear has poisoned the minds of the majority of the population by stopping men and women from following and living their ‘true potential’ as healthy functioning human beings.

“Living in accordance with other people’s expectations and cultural opinions is one of the biggest socially engineered fear traps. A trap that only exists because the individual is fearful of judgment, criticism and rejection and seeks love, respect and approval from the outside, all at the expense of their authenticity, inner authority and personal power. The trap is that of not living an authentic life.”

Today, some of the most common fears amongst us are the fear of failure, poverty, illness, loneliness, judgment–the list is endless. Often, this fear manifests itself as a norm, a mainstay in our lives that we forget it is something we should be actively working to dissolve.

Thousands of years ago, our survival instinct developed the feeling of fear in order to protect us from dangerous situations, threatening animals and from being attacked. Fear served as a very useful tool to keep us safe and help us evolve as human beings. Fear as a reflex was tantamount to survival.

But that is no longer the case today.

The majority of us live in highly civilized societies where the fear that has kept our ancestors alive is no longer relevant. Our societies have completely changed, and we must acknowledge that beyond fear, beyond this conditioning lies freedom–our true human potential.

Fear is a construct of the mind

Usually, unless we are in imminent danger of our life, fear is a construct of the mind. It is not real. It is a ‘state of mind’. Fear can control us, paralyze us and block us from responding positively to life if we feed it. Fear has power over us when we feed it by focusing our attention upon it; otherwise fear actually has little power over us. But imagine the fear of being ’stuck or trapped’ in a life you don’t want, living to please others? A life that perhaps has been determined by others opinions and wants instead of manifesting and bringing forward your own needs, priorities and authentic dreams?

“I say “Out” to every negative thought that comes to my mind. No person, place, or thing has any power over me, for I am the only thinker in my mind. I create my own reality and everyone in it.” ― Louise Hay

Fear is often destructive and the cause of many arguments, conflicts and wars. It holds us back by engendering false limitations. Limitations often influenced or set by other people’s opinions or by society as a whole. Saying ‘you can’t do that’ or ‘that’s not possible’. Creating false barriers to justify or deny that they are simply afraid of the unknown. These limiting beliefs allow fear to stop you from making choices and decisions that deep inside you know you should make–decisions based upon your intuition and inner authority that you want to make. And this is all because you decide to listen to and accept other people’s fear or opinions as your own reality and personal truth–which is simply not true!

Fear leads to illness

What many don’t realize is that fear is a toxic low frequency energy. It begins in the mind often through doubt and indecision, which leads to anxiety and if not apprehended can lead to depression, paranoia and possible harmful behaviors. This mind-body connection is explained very well by best-selling author, healer and teacher, Louise Hay in her books “Heal Your Body” & “You Can Heal Your Life”.

Like all disharmonious energy, the fear energy reaches the physical layer of the body where these fears, anxieties and obsessions manifest. They show up as diseases such as adrenal fatigue syndrome, weakened immune system and cancer to name but a few. Health professionals now acknowledge that unresolved emotional issues, pain and trauma have a direct correlation with and negative impact upon the physical body, and mental/emotional health. This is something that Chinese Medicine and Ayurveda Medicine realized thousands of years ago–that a positive strong mental attitude gives rise to and supports a healthy strong body and immune system.

Fear literally consumes our precious life force (Prana/Chi) and reduces our ability to achieve a healthy, happy and lasting harmonious life with ourselves and others. Your life force is your power, your vitality!

Visualize this: each day we wake up with 100% of our life force in place. But immediately when we wake up, we start thinking of past and future fears (avoiding the present moment), thinking of dramas in our lives while sabotaging our decisions and allowing other people’s opinions and expectations to overrule us. We unconsciously give away large amounts of our present day energy on these negative thoughts and entanglements, leaving us with very little energy to operate with during the day. This is partly why we feel tired, inert, lazy, isolated and disconnected. We have lost our life force, our vitality and power. This is fatal. Once the life force energy is depleted and we have little to no vitality left, we begin eating into our physical layer as a source of energy. That in turn leads to malfunction of our internal organs such as the kidney and adrenal glands and the weakening of our immune system and body.

Self-Responsibility & Accountability

The first step is believing that there is hope if we seek to make change. Ultimately, it is only our own selves who can make that change as must also take responsibility for the direction of our lives. It is important to become mindful of our thoughts, emotions and actions. We need to become aware of the negative thoughts, behaviors and patterns that are detrimental to our life and begin to understand the source. No one will remove the fear from our minds, only we can do this. It is very important to identify exactly what we are fearful of: expose it, share it, and talk about it with someone or with a group you trust. It’s important to share the fear to get it off your chest!

No one else can do this work for us. Only we can initiate such a powerful transformation within ourselves. Others can support us in this process but we must want to stop feeding negative thoughts, complaining, blaming, lying, gossiping, cheating, manipulating and other harmful behavior so we can turn our attention to what is healing, transforming and empowering. Once an individual truly realizes they can drop fear instantly like a heavy bag, then they can transform their life by changing their focus and attention. They can make more truthful and empowering choices in their life.

Start to be more aware of daily thoughts and when the thought of fear arises, question it. Ask:

How real is it? What specifically am I afraid of?

Is this really my fear?

If yes, don’t deny it, but move your attention to the solution. What could you do to dissolve this fear?

If you choose to follow your fears, this will actually cause more harm and bring you further away from your authenticity and truth. Choosing to stand up and face your fear is very empowering and builds up your strength, courage, self-esteem and self-confidence. This is the beginning of moving towards Personal Transformation, Personal Power and Spiritual Maturity.

“Think big then begin with small steps that will move you forward towards the lifestyle you want. This is self-responsibility! This is your power of choice. The power to take ownership of your life. That power is in your hands only!”

Internal Guidance

Fear is a big reason why people don’t listen to their intuition, fear of the unknown, even though deep inside they know it’s the right thing to do. They have an inner voice or feeling saying do this, do that. That’s their intuition, their inner authority guiding them, and yet they choose to sabotage and ignore their intuition only to have regret later. When you are living from being guided from within, by your intuition and personal power then the outside world and fear of what others think has no power or control over you.  Of course, we all have to pay bills but that doesn’t stop you investing in yourself, paying attention to your needs and priorities (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual), and investing your time in quality healthy relationships. Allowing yourself to be surrounded by quality people that respect and love you as you are. Learning to be mindful present and starting to think about the life you actually want is a good place to start. To know more about the Internal Guidance please click here.


Begin to let go of wanting to control external situations such as people and events in your life that you have no control of. Start to focus on what you do have control of, your thoughts, decisions and behavior. Develop trust in yourself and your internal guidance system (intuition). Identify and write down your top 5 fears. Reflect on these fears, which ones are within your control. Now consider the decisions and actions that must be in place in order to dissolve them. Become aware of the fears you have no control over. Understand that you have no control or right to change others. But know you have the power to change yourself, your life and how you choose to interact in this world. Have clear honorable motivations and intentions and then take steps day by day towards your goals. Trust in yourself and your intuition and ask for professional guidance and support when you need it.

The secret to create the lifestyle you want begins with mastering your thoughts, emotions and behavior. You are not only allowing yourself to develop your inner authority and personal power but you are also manifesting abundance and wisdom into your life. Enjoy the journey and try not to worry too much about the details of “how I will make it”. Learn to be detached from the outcome by practicing patience, resilience and an open abundance mindset.

Four important things you should consider when embarking upon this journey of healing and personal transformation.

  1. First you will most likely need a mentor to support you on this journey.
  2. Second, have a solid healing & coaching structure in place that will ground you into practical daily steps to shift your mindset from where you are to where you want to be.
  3. Third you need a mentor continuation support program to help you to embed the new daily routines into your life. These new daily routines will assist the brains neuroplasticity activity in developing new neural pathways that represents your new powerful mindset.
  4. Fourth, you will need to have a supportive community that respects you and is there for you when you need.


  1. Download Free Chapter 1 from the book “Burnout to Breakthrough”.
  2. Receive FREE the book “Burnout to Breakthrough”.
  3. Request a FREE coaching session with Coaching Self-Empowerment.
  4. Book your Soul Plan Reading analysis.
  5. “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay.
  6. “Heal Your Body” by Louise Hay.

About the Coaches

Luke and Susana HancockLuke and Susana Hancock have 20 years each of global professional experience, working in London, Europe and Asia in areas of leadership, staff training and personal development. Since 2016 they have been delivering professional training and coaching courses to individuals, schools, business and governmental organizations.  Luke is a Transformational Life Coach (ICF Accredited) and the author of the life changing book, “Burnout to Breakthrough”. Susana is a fully qualified Spiritual Counselor and practitioner of Holistic Therapies accredited by the Complimentary Medical Association (CMA). She is also a fully qualified Nutritional Therapist and a Detox and Clinical Weight Loss specialist, accredited by the International Institute for Complementary Therapies in the UK and Australia. About the Coaches https://coachingselfempowerment.com/about

About Coaching Self-Empowerment

Coaching Self-Empowerment is a legal entity based in Chiang Mai, Thailand that provides an innovative and a cutting edge framework of educational training and coaching courses to individuals and organizations.  The company has three main areas of focus: Personal & Professional Development, Nutrition Detox and Urban Sustainability. The mission of Coaching Self-Empowerment is to empower individuals and guide organizations to become more sustainable by providing them with the knowledge, the tools and methodologies so they may develop their great potential and a lifestyle based on health and sustainability.  About the company: https://coachingselfempowerment.com/